The silver lining of the wailing sky.

Image : Pinterest

The clouds are all over the place today. They’ve covered up the blue of the sky with a cotton-y soft white blanket. But it’s not the kind that says warm hugs and soft love, but the kind you are wrapped up in on your grim days. People don’t go out on such days. The mood just doesn’t sit right with it. Even the birds refuse their happy chirping. The sky is, to the hilt, filled with despair. And the weight that the air is carrying around is filled with emptiness yet heavy enough to bring it down.

But before long, it would let it all go. Free itself from everything that was holding it back. Screaming and thundering and roaring all along. It would wash all the pain away and water the flowers with its tears, exhausting itself till all of the hurt is gone.

And when all of this is over and the night falls as the daylight begins to fade, the sky is at its prettiest with the blend of the mushy red and the pleasant pink and the welcoming orange and the fine purple of the setting sun. It’s a sight when the sky is this hopeful, like it had never, once, carried the weight of the world.

Guwahati ( 07.05.18 )

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For i am here for you.

Fall back now, for your heart is tender from all the toxic that has been filled within, weaking your skin.
For i am here to trace the lining of your scars with the gentelest of touch, my heartwarming sin.

Hold on now, to all those broken dreams that once made the stars shine bright, beaten down and set aside.
For i am here to gaurd your gaze, pick up your tamed eyes and set them free into the infinities of the sky.

Heap up now, all your shattered pieces that were battered off by the ugliness of the yesteryears.
For i am here to build you a home, away from the wilderness, away from the thunderstorm, filled by the light beaming of two rhythmic heartbeats, dancing to the same tune.

Colour outside the lines now, oh love, colour within your soul that has been for ever so long bleached grey with betrayal.
For i am here to paint you kaleidoscopic horizons where the sun meets the sky and there never exists a heart wrenching goodbye.

For i am here for you.
For i am here for you.

Starving

His tongue travelled to the nape of my neck, his breath, heavy on my skin. That moment i forgot how to breathe, not making any peace with my longings.

My skin awakened by his wild touch as he explored every inch of my unclad body. I bit my lips as my senses gave in. My nails digg deeper into his bare back, leaving marks in all the places long craved.
He smirked and lewdness lingered in his eyes, committing the sweetest of sins. The purest of love, the drakest of nights.
I watched him drink me. Taking his own sweet time. Burning my soul in all shades of love, he went on and on. Deeper. Slower. Longer. 
He looked up straight into my eyes, ”  you are my nastiest dream come true” and lost in the brown of his, i said, “i’m always starving for you. “

Journal

Until what point is it okay to say that i miss him? Two months? Six months? A year? 

Well, it’s been two. And i still couldn’t figure out a way to miss him any lesser.

Days have blended into weeks and week into months and i kept watching his life in photographs, all his beautifully captured moments give me a sense of senerity that he is happy and somehow that’s enough for me to get going for days.

How long has it been since i last saw him? When was it? Last november,  i suppose? when he passed by my place for no reason i could think of. Our eyes met while he was passing by me in a slow senere motion. And in that one moment, i think i saw a hint of smile on his face, and for that one moment, i forgot it all, all the blaming and cursing and the hating. For just that one moment took me back to our old days when he’d get my heart race in the olympics. And i was surprised at him, still being able to make me weak in the knees. That was how i felt, like old times. I knew what i felt but i didn’t know how i should have felt and for no reason i could recollect, i looked away and let him pass. Him and the moment.

Yes, it does feel good to talk to guys and enjoy all the attention that they give but no, they’re together not enough to fill his void.

I haven’t seen him in a while. And in all these years,  i haven’t gone so long without seeing him or talking to him. And as the days between us keep widening, i’m scared that i might never get to see him again.

August 1, 2016 23:29 sat