Such Is Life! 


I don’t generally post personal stuff here. But who says that can’t change? 
So, today (and i’m not sharing this to get all the ‘hbd’s out here) is my birthday but i don’t feel very happy.

 Reason?

 It’s my first birthday with him.

 My dad. 

As some of you might know (if you don’t, now you will) i lost him a month ago to cancer. And it’s been really hard ever since. (not that i thought it wouldn’t.. Just had no idea how intense and killing this pain would be) 
Anyway, I know one needs to accept things and all that shit but there are things i really can’t figure out and get them straight without him. This, for instance, is one such situation. 

I mean,  how am i supposed to celebrate my birthday when the person behind my birthday spirit is no longer here?  How am i supposed to celebrate my birth when the one who brought me into this world isn’t around? 
I just miss him so much. 
P. S – just had to share this. 

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64 thoughts on “Such Is Life! 

  1. I have no words for the pain you describe here. I just feel this took a lot and is VERY important to you. Thank you for sharing, may it be a good memory and not a painful feeling of longing. I wish you all the strength in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I understand bt no any person can understant that how much deep your sadness…but dear sorrow is the second name of life…apke dad upar se apko dekh rahe honge aur jb bhi aap dukhi hote hoge to unhe bhi dukh hota hoga …to aap khush raho taaki wo jaha kahi bhi rahe pr jab bhi apko dekhe to apke face pr smile dekhkr wo bhi khush ho sake…god bless u

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Sometimes something’s aren’t in our hands. But we need to gulp up the pain and live with it anyway. Never think that he’s not with you. Parents don’t leave you so soon. My one cent : follow your heart from now on in whatever you do, cos even if you fall in trouble, he will be there to protect you from the mess if any. RIP Uncle.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Happy birthday shuvi….. You look so good….. And so strong……cancer is just a reason, every flesh is perishable in its own time…….be strong and live up….. And take care of yourself…..

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m so sorry to hear this. It must be terrible. Even if it doesn’t help right now, let me assure you that you will get through this. Your pain will never go away but it will make you stronger. I know cause I’ve been there
    On that note, I wish you a wonderful Birthday this year and every year. I hope to keep reading your blog for a long time 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hey baby girl happy birthday ❤
    Stay blessed ❤
    And who says he isn’t with you. He’s around you and watching you every single second. And partying hard !!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Hey baby girl Happy birthday!! ❤ stay blessed! ❤ilysm!
    And who says he isn’t with you. He’s watching you every single second and partying really hard!! Yeah the fact is physically he isn’t with you but his blessings will always follow you wherever you go. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Happy Birthday Dear….. “HELLO WORLD, TODAY IS OUR DEAREST SHUVIGAUTAM’S BIRTHDAY🎊 WISHING HER LONG LIFE AND MANY HAPPY RETURNS ” Have a Lovely Birthday Dear. Hip, Hip, Hip, HURRAY🍕🌹🍕🎆🎆🎆🎷🎷

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It takes a lot to go through this. You know what? This makes it clear that your are strong and you can handle whatever life hurls at you. One thing I’m sure of us this, the loss will come back to you as a blessing. He may be gone but he’s with you. Celebrate the times you had together and make him proud. This is a deep piece

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I lost my father four years ago (though I confess I had many more years with him than you did). I am so sorry for your loss. In time, like me, you will be able to smile when you remember certain expressions that he would have made. Until then, keep writing and sharing and searching. You are a gift to all of us on your birthday!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Happy Birthday… 🙂
    Now im not going to say ‘I understand how that feels’ because although imagining to be in your situation brings me the chills, I can’t really say that…It isn’t fair…
    Your courage to move on from life will definitely make your father proud… It’s hard to come out of what you have been through… Never give up…many new expeiences and adventures await you…
    Was ‘Begin Again’ based on your experience?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Dear Subhalakshmi (or do you prefer Shuvi?), Firstly I am truly saddened to hear about your loss. Secondly I would like to wish you a belated happy birthday. I can’t say that I understand and neither can I advise on the matter of moving on since I haven’t lost someone so close till now. But I understand that you were sad and that you did not feel happy. It cannot be easy to lose a parent, and I can’t imagine your pain.

    But, what I can do is offer my support to you as a friend. I cannot take away your pain or fill the void in your heart, but I would be happy to hear you speak your mind. If something troubles you, I will certainly help in whatever way you need me to. Not out of pity or sympathy, but as a friend, because I believe my friends are also a part of my family. And you my dear friend are still young and have a long way ahead. So don’t carry the burden of pain alone, let me carry some of it too, for that will make the journey much easier I assure you! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Really sorry for your loss, and I can actually relate to these feeling. After my mom passed away, the first few years were upsetting to even try to celebrate my birthday without her. Yet as a decade has passed, and even though the feelings are still there, I chose to live for those that are around me and simply try to live the moments I get to spend with them to the fullest because I know that they or I will not be around anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

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